My YouTube Backstory
Way back in 2013-2014, I was in college and was required to take an elective class. I was very introverted and had less self esteem than I do now, so when I chose Theater class – it was shocking to everyone, including me. I did not want to be a famous actress or singer at all. Having people stare at me and waiting for me to perform is one of my worst nightmares. So, I became the stage manager so I could stay in the background, out of the spotlight.
Over the past decade, I’ve watched so many YouTube videos. Some were elaborate, like mini-movies, and others were very simple – camera, person and meaningful words. I preferred the latter type and dreamed of doing the same. I had so many roadblocks – but they were only in my own mind. There was absolutely NOTHING stopping me from hitting record on my phone and then posting to my channel.
How Did My Mind Interfere with My Creator Plans?
If you’ve read any of my other blog posts up to this point, you should already know that I love learning just about anything. But, this doesn’t always result in taking action and using the knowledge. An example of this is the hundreds of videos in my YouTube watch history.
I’ve watched huge creators with millions of subscribers to see what they recommend to be successful on YouTube and they provided wonderful tips if you wanted to have millions follow you and grow into a huge company with products, classes and services for people to buy. They seem really salesy to me, so it didn’t hit the spot in my brain to take action.
I love watching the simple, “regular people” videos and feel quite drawn to go back and watch many others in their feed. This is what I was looking for in any channel I created. I wanted to find my own little community and make genuine friends since I’m lacking in that area IRL (in real life).
Why Did I Choose YouTube?
YouTube seemed like a great place for me because I could take a few minutes to try to win over any viewers. I don’t think I could do it in just a 60-second video on TikTok and there’s no way I’m posting a photo every day on Instagram to catch the attention of the people I was trying to attract. Facebook was filled with family and school friends, so that was not an option – I wanted to start new and fresh with people. I don’t like to bother people, so I figured I’ll just put myself out there and let the people find me. If they interact with any videos positively – then that MUST mean we are now friends LOL!
Another reason I chose YouTube was because I think it’s probably going to be around forever and it’s free to do. My intention is to make videos about my past, present, future and talk about all the hobbies and jobs I’ve experienced I know this sounds a little self-centered, but it’s from the heart I promise.
With my grandma’s recent passing, I realized the only way people will know how great she was is through stories of her. So, that’s only bits and pieces of such a good woman and it’s not fair to our family’s future. She’s been on this earth since the 1930s and now it’s just over. Luckily she joined Facebook in her 80s so we still have some pictures and videos to still hear her voice.
I love my grandkids more than I thought I ever could, only because I love their dad more than anything in this world and have seen him grow for over 30 years and I didn’t think anything could top that. So, I want to be a bigger part of their lives and bring some meaning to MY life. I have done so many things that I’m not perfect at, but I can show them and maybe guide them on finding the hobbies or careers that bring them the most happiness.
They are still babies, so I don’t know if they’ll like reading blogs or watching videos, so I’m doing a little of both in hopes that they will enjoy learning about their history and hearing my story in my own words, with my own personality and quirks. I think YouTube is the best avenue for preserving my stories, lessons and experiences to my grandkids and beyond. In the meantime, while they are still growing, I might be able to help others that find my videos too.
There will always be someone who can’t see your worth!
Mel Robbins
Don’t let it be YOU!
Changing My Inner Talk
This week, I finally sat down and tried to concentrate on WHY I HAVEN’T started this YouTube thing yet, since I had a clear and wonderful reasons TO DO IT. Let me explain a few of my reasons to see if you can relate. If you’re like me and struggling, maybe I can help a little to encourage you to start too.
Perfectionism is a character flaw!
We all know NO ONE IS PERFECT. We’ve heard that our entire lives, at least I have. But yet, I still felt my value only came when I could be as close to perfect as possible in anything I did. I’ve always said I have succeeded at pretty much everything – except losing weight – and that always improved my own self-esteem a little.
During this “Project: Improve Me” journey I’m saying NO to perfectionism. I’m going to do my best at everything, but I’m not going to let imperfection to stop me from taking a step forward. That’s the only way I’ll ever see progress!
TIP: Think of your favorite person on Earth – would you still love them if they weren’t perfect? Well your favorite person SHOULD be YOU! So, stop trying to be perfect!
Low self-esteem is just a Mind Game!
I hate the way I look; I hate my glasses; I hate how fat I am; I hate how my jaw looks crooked when I talk; I hate my lips and how I sound. I constantly say those negative things to myself every time I attempted to make a video and watch it back. These thoughts would make me sick and I’d just delete the videos so I wouldn’t have to see them again – and give up on my YouTube dreams.
Again, during this journey, I’m realizing those things do not matter in this world – at all! I’m a Christian, so I truly believe God made me perfectly as I should be. Yes there are things I can control about myself, but the way I look, sound, how my eyes work or don’t work, etc. are all the ways God made me. The people that truly love and care about me, including God, love me as I am today – flaws and all! So, I say screw the haters because I’m loved and have a great life to be proud of – they can’t take that away from me no matter how I look or sound on camera!
TIP: Before you start filming a video, try getting your thoughts in order first – write an outline or a script and practice it. When you feel comfortable, think of the person that loves you the most, say their name and just pretend to tell them what you have to say. Forget all about the camera and just do your best.
Controlling everything is NOT possible!
To go along with the previous two points, I filled my head with thoughts of people won’t like me or people might say mean stuff and hurt my feelings. I was so worried about what other people were going to do and say.
I realized – I cannot control any of that. But, I can control my thoughts, actions and how I respond to negative feedback.
TIP: Review the diagram I created below to remember what you CAN and CANNOT control. If you can’t control it – then don’t let it control you!
The First Step Towards My Dream
Now you’ve learned my motivation for becoming a YouTube Creator in my late-40s and all the reasons that have stopped me until now. Every reason was ME! So, with improvement comes progress and now I have my first, imperfect YouTube video – but it’s from the heart and authentic. You will not see anything else on earth like it – because I am one of a kind — and SO ARE YOU! Get started on your dreams today! Make one little step every day and you’ll see amazing progress in a year, two years, etc. and you will be SO PROUD of yourself. That’s all that really matters!
Here’s my YouTube debut and if you’d like to subscribe – that would be awesome1 I’d also love to hear about your YouTube channel journey or any other challenge you’ve been trying to conquer! Contact me in private or comment below so I can encourage and congratulate you!
PIM Community Question:
Have you started a YouTube channel or WordPress blog? If not, why? If Yes, Share your experience so far! Would you like a step by step guide to setting up? I think i can help in that area, just let me know. I’m not a professional, but I can still give you some tips I’ve learned along the way!
Leave a comment, send me a message through the contact form or by email. If you prefer, you can use this as a prompt in your own reflection journal instead!
