Today I learned the last grandma I had on this Earth is now gone forever. Between Christmas and New Year she had a stroke. She was unconscious since then. She was actually gone before her body gave up last night. When my brother called to tell me, I was sad but it didn’t really sink in at that time.
After a few hours of stalking her Facebook page, I saved some beautiful pictures of her. I also watched videos with her voice and laughter. It hit me; she had one hell of a life. Now it’s over. We weren’t very close. But, this blog will be available for my grandkids in the future. So, I’d like to share what I do know.
My Grandma Had Quite A Life!
I do not want to get into the details of our family’s early days. Still, I’ll briefly share what I know. My great-grandma, Rosa, got pregnant by Frank Thomas in the mid-1930s. This baby was my grandma, Anna, born May 2, 1936 [as of yesterday, she was 88 years old]. Somehow, Frank died (in a war, I believe), and Rosa ended up married to William. I heard he was a pretty mean man. He died of a heart attack in February 1975, shortly before I was born. So, I only know a little about him from the stories of the people who knew him.
William and Rosa started having children: William Jr, David, Arthur, James, Kate, and Helen. But then, William also started having children with Anna: Joel, Marcia, Becky, Linda, John, Tony, Ronnie, and Janie. I don’t know all the details, nor do I want to. Those pre-1980 years were just different. All of these offspring were raised in the same house as brothers and sisters. Well, until Rosa died in 1992, shortly before my son was born, and everything split into it’s original order.
It’s like everyone was keeping a big secret until my great-grandma died, then it became a family of the brothers and sisters – and now their nieces and nephews. It’s strange and caused a lot of drama – but it was all based on William Sr.’s issues he passed down to our entire family. Families did weird things back in the old days. We can’t change that. We can only make the family tree bigger and healthier! My dad always seemed ashamed of this big secret, even though it wasn’t his fault at all. I understand this fact, so I’m not going to take that shame on.
So, this is what I mean about my grandma having a rough start. She lived with my great grandma. She took care of her and raised all her kids and siblings. She did this until the day Rosa died. Then, my grandma finally went out, fell in love, and got married for the first time. She was about 57 at the time.
My Memories of My Grandma
When I was younger, my little family [mom, dad and brother] would go to “the house” on some Sundays and Christmas. But, with all the people I mentioned earlier, their spouses, and their children – the place was a mad-house! I don’t really ever remember spending time with any of the older crowd, but us little cousins had a blast together every time we were at grandma’s house.
I knew grandma had favorites because some of my aunts moved in with her and raised their kids in the same house. So, of course grandma got to know them better. My parents moved us to Michigan for a year when I was 15. Then when we moved back to Ohio, my mom and dad were always fighting and eventually went through a divorce. During that time, I never saw or talked to my grandma. I was a teenager going through so much drama because I also got pregnant when all this was going on with my parents. We never formed a close relationship, but I was respectful and I was impressed by her.
My grandma always looked good – hair and nails done; she could cook a huge meal with everything getting done at the same time like magic; she was always smiling and laughing when I was at her house; she was just a cool person with tons of skills and a great heart. She loved everyone unconditionally, even if she did gossip about them. I have quite a few paintings she did and quilts she made. She was pretty much the best woman I knew; except I don’t think she knew I felt that way. And I’m not saying all of this just because she’s passed now, I truly do envy how she lived even though she had to endure so much.
Our Last Visit
The last time I saw my grandma and hugged her was 2016. I moved to Georgia in 2005 and we didn’t make the long trip back to Ohio very much. My mom moved to Georgia, my brother was usually in North Carolina – so I never felt the urge to go back. But, in 2016, my family had a surprise birthday party for my grandma’s 80th birthday. My son and I made the 12+ hour trip and surprised her – it was a great day and I’ll always remember it. Luckily we got pictures of that day and I have access to all the pictures of her since then through my family on Facebook.
I always joked that 80-year-olds should not be on Facebook, but I’m so glad she was because at least I got to tell her Happy Birthday each year and I loved her a couple times each year. I knew this day was coming eventually, but it’s sad that our family has lost it’s matriarch and will never be the same. My memories of grandma and the times I got to be around her will always be cherished.
What Does Our Family Do Now?
Through the grapevine, I’ve heard there’s a bunch of fighting within the family over grandma’s possessions and her last wishes. She knew what she wanted and everyone should just abide by that and move on with their lives. My grandma was not rich, but she valued what she did earn and own. So, I know she put a lot of thought into what would happen when she was gone and left it to those closest to her and/or needed her possessions the most.
Today, I watched a video that truly brought tears to my eyes and made my feelings of her strength even deeper. I ran across the video of her spreading the ashes of her son that passed in her house a couple years ago. I can’t imagine how that would feel, as a mother, to feel your sons ashes between your fingers and have the wind blow his dust into your face.
My aunt got to spend some time with my grandma in her last hours and reported to the family that my grandma, after being unconscious for days, lifted her arm and reached to the sky. I believe it was Jesus leading her to the arms of her son and other loved ones in heaven waiting for her. I sure hope she’ll be happy to see me when it’s my turn. I love you grandma and will try to leave some of your goodness for my grandkids to carry on our family.
Life Lesson: Stay in touch with the people you love and tell them often. You never know when it’ll be too late.
PIM Community Question
Have you lost the last of a generation? How did you honor them and keep their memories alive with younger and future kids in your family?
I’d love to hear your stories! Please leave a comment, message through the contact form, or send me an email. You can also use this as a prompt in your own reflection journal instead!
Even better – use this as a prompt to start a new blog or YouTube channel. I have past posts with my experiences here: start a blog and My YouTube Journey.
I will share a few pictures I have of great-grandma Rosa and grandma Anna Rose here. This is so they always have a place on the internet where they are truly loved and cherished. Not everyone is photo-ready at all times, so please enjoy without judgment.
